“Why is everything so bad right now Mom?” my daughter asked while we were making supper and listening to the evening news recently. “Why are they always talking about how bad everything is?”
I hadn’t considered how the constant news about crisis and tragedy might sound to our kids … So began my attempt to explain our country’s economic woes to a 1st grader.
My child is confused by the constant doomsday talk not only because she’s seven but because she doesn’t really see or feel the pain here in North Dakota.
No, we aren’t completely isolated. Some dear friends are leaving our neighborhood, in part to shelter themselves from the recession. My husband survived two reductions-in-force last year and his company was recently bought out, promising more cutbacks. So, our future has some concerning question marks.
But despite some layoffs and evidence of slowdown, North Dakota stands like an economic fortress among the houses of cards that are toppling throughout the United States. North Dakota has a $1 billion budget surplus, abundant jobs and among the lowest unemployment rates in the nation.
Considering the steady financial position of North Dakota, I was among those disturbed by news from our Congressional delegation last week that North Dakota will receive $493 million in “formula funding” from the economic stimulus package.
Formula funding is one of those government terms that we tune out. It must be code for money distributed without consideration of need.
“Per capita, only two states do better,” a news release from Sen. Kent Conrad glowed. “These resources will be invested in North Dakota’s highways and bridges, our law enforcement agencies, our growing energy sector, and our children’s school lunch programs.”
Fine. North Dakotans will probably spend it more wisely than most. But I thought the point of the package was to stimulate troubled economies? With some states near collapse, should North Dakota with a record budget surplus be among the biggest winners per capita of stimulus money?
I know North Dakota won’t reject the money, but I’d like to see us return part of it. For instance, our share includes about $25 million for the State Energy Program. Compare this to the program’s current annual budget of about $250,000 and you’ll understand why some people in state government question whether we will be able to responsibly spend all of this money. That's a 10,000 percent increase in just one program in one small state.
Examples like this undermine confidence in this approach. I'm plagued with questions about it. How can a 30 percent increase in the entire federal budget be debated, passed and signed into law in less than one month? Will we ever pay it back? Who are we beholden to for this debt? Are we the Soviet Union of the 21st Century, spending our way to prosperity while we mortgage our financial systems to a future world power like China?
Another side of me is just curious, as an outside observer might be, to witness what kind of effect this massive spending plan will have on our nation. Is it bold and brilliant or the beginning of a long and painful demise?
Plenty of people are making predictions, but no one really knows. Ultimately, all of the nay saying, cheering and predictions in the news doesn’t matter. We are in an economic, political and social experiment of historic proportions, and only history will determine whether it works.
My daughter feels isolated from the economic crisis today, and I hope that continues to be the case. Most of all, I pray it doesn’t fall squarely on her lap when she’s raising a first grader of her own.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Obsessing about Love
Last week, our kids transformed the kitchen into a Valentine factory. Glitter covered our table, counters, chairs and most of our dogs too. Piles of papers baring heart-shaped wounds littered the floor.
They produced 50-some creations that only a mother can recognize as hearts, and taped a piece of leftover Halloween candy on each one for good measure. (At last -- that stash is gone.)
Valentine’s Day aside, love has been on my mind a lot this past year. Not heart pounding, stomach dropping romantic love, but love as in “love your neighbor” or “love your enemy.”
Love like:
• The Trinity Lutheran Church lady who volunteers 50 hours each week to coordinate The Banquet meals for needy people in our community.
• The young women who help developmentally disabled adults swim at our local pools.
• The people who run the Children’s Advocacy Center, Abused Adult Resource Center, Teen Challenge, Charles Hall, Ruth Meier’s, and all the churches that serve the poor and less fortunate.
These people live love as a calling.
Recently, a young priest at my church told our congregation that he hoped we could feel his love for us “overflowing” from him. He choked up a bit as he spoke and his words struck me, not because they were terribly profound but because they were so sincere.
Here was a young man who has devoted his life to loving and caring for others and you can, most certainly, feel the love flowing from him. What a gift to us – immeasurable really, in terms of the impact on people around him.
Helen Keller said, “The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.”
We hear this and nod because we know it’s true. Yet we are so easily, almost obsessively distracted from this lesson. We pack our days trying to see and accomplish and accumulate things to touch, and in the process lose sight of our most important calling to love.
In the rush of a day, it’s easy to bypass simple, loving gestures like sitting down with my five-year-old to talk about his school papers, having a complete conversation with my husband, or calling a lonely friend.
Mattie Stepanek, a young poet who died at age 13 from a severe form of muscular dystrophy, became famous for his touching “Heartsongs” poems. I’m not a big reader of poetry, but this little boy’s plain words are inspiring.
In a poem titled, “Believing in the Journey” he wrote, “Everyday, everyone in the world should do at least one nice thing for others. Doing so can help each person believe in himself or herself more fully and give confidence that may inspire each person to do more new and good things.”
It’s simple and idealistic. But it works. Kindness and love are contagious, not just on Valentine’s Day but everyday. May you be inspired to do more new and good things, even small and insignificant, so your love overflows for everyone to feel.
They produced 50-some creations that only a mother can recognize as hearts, and taped a piece of leftover Halloween candy on each one for good measure. (At last -- that stash is gone.)
Valentine’s Day aside, love has been on my mind a lot this past year. Not heart pounding, stomach dropping romantic love, but love as in “love your neighbor” or “love your enemy.”
Love like:
• The Trinity Lutheran Church lady who volunteers 50 hours each week to coordinate The Banquet meals for needy people in our community.
• The young women who help developmentally disabled adults swim at our local pools.
• The people who run the Children’s Advocacy Center, Abused Adult Resource Center, Teen Challenge, Charles Hall, Ruth Meier’s, and all the churches that serve the poor and less fortunate.
These people live love as a calling.
Recently, a young priest at my church told our congregation that he hoped we could feel his love for us “overflowing” from him. He choked up a bit as he spoke and his words struck me, not because they were terribly profound but because they were so sincere.
Here was a young man who has devoted his life to loving and caring for others and you can, most certainly, feel the love flowing from him. What a gift to us – immeasurable really, in terms of the impact on people around him.
Helen Keller said, “The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.”
We hear this and nod because we know it’s true. Yet we are so easily, almost obsessively distracted from this lesson. We pack our days trying to see and accomplish and accumulate things to touch, and in the process lose sight of our most important calling to love.
In the rush of a day, it’s easy to bypass simple, loving gestures like sitting down with my five-year-old to talk about his school papers, having a complete conversation with my husband, or calling a lonely friend.
Mattie Stepanek, a young poet who died at age 13 from a severe form of muscular dystrophy, became famous for his touching “Heartsongs” poems. I’m not a big reader of poetry, but this little boy’s plain words are inspiring.
In a poem titled, “Believing in the Journey” he wrote, “Everyday, everyone in the world should do at least one nice thing for others. Doing so can help each person believe in himself or herself more fully and give confidence that may inspire each person to do more new and good things.”
It’s simple and idealistic. But it works. Kindness and love are contagious, not just on Valentine’s Day but everyday. May you be inspired to do more new and good things, even small and insignificant, so your love overflows for everyone to feel.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Considering a new conversation on abortion
Swimming this weekend with my kids we played my favorite pool game: tea party. Four of us gathered in a tight circle and dunked under the water at the same time. I yelled a secret phrase as loudly and clearly as I could, then stood up and waited for them to guess what I said. They looked at me, puzzled. No guesses.
We tried again. And again. And again. Each time I yelled louder and enunciate more carefully. Finally, on the fifth or sixth round, my daughter finally heard me correctly. “MICKEY MOUSE!” she yelled.
The ongoing debate about abortion in this country bares some similarities to this underwater communication game. Both sides chant loudly and enunciate clearly, but they could all just as well be underwater. Their opponents can not understand them.
Unlike my recent game, however, when it comes to the debate on abortion, both sides have practically stopped listening or trying to understand.
Last week, in revoking the Mexico City Policy, President Obama said, “I have no desire to continue this stale and fruitless debate,” and pledged to bring people from all sides together for a fresh conversation on abortion.
I immediately dismissed this promise. A fresh conversation on abortion? Impossible.
Later, I began to consider the alternative. If we can’t somehow initiate a new conversation, the abortion issue will continue to be a game of political “keep away.” When liberals are in charge, national policies will make abortion easier. When conservatives hold the reins, policies will restrict abortions.
This is how it’s been for 36 years. I was four when the “keep away” game began.
So, assuming President Obama is sincere in his desire to create a new conversation, I’ve been thinking about what that might be. What would it sound like? How do you bring these ardent foes together?
First, a new conversation demands that neither side will receive everything they want. This has always been the first and final stumbling block on this issue. Pro-life groups can cede no ground on the taking of innocent life. And the pro-choice advocates stand firmly against any government infringement on a woman’s ability to manage her own body.
End of discussion.
But what if, in a new conversation, Roe v Wade was off the table? What if advocates for life gave up efforts to repeal Roe v Wade? What if we accepted that in terms of U.S. law -- not church teachings, spiritual understanding or moral positioning but legally speaking -- U.S. women have a legal right to chose?
Would this giant concession open the door to a fresh conversation on abortion? And could that liberate people in both camps to quit defending their most pure positions and get about the work of reducing the 1.2 million abortions in this country each year?
Ultimately, abortion is a lose-lose choice. Except in the case of rape, the mother (and father if he’s consulted) lose a life of their own making, the baby loses its future, thousands of potential adoptive parents lose an opportunity to love and parent that child, and society loses the promise inherent to that life.
I believe most Americans view abortion as an undesirable solution. No one, at least no one I’ve ever met, wakes up in the morning and thinks, “If only we could have more abortions in this country. That would be good for America.”
But in fighting to maintain a woman’s right to make this most intimate and significant decision, the pro-choice community has had to diminish the value of the life at stake. Granting any rights or compassion for the unborn child could jeopardize the woman’s exclusive authority to determine her and her baby’s destiny.
This position takes its most extreme form with pro-choice advocates who have more compassion for mistreated animals than for a baby girl accidentally born out of a botched abortion.
We are more reasonable than this. We can do a lot better, working together to reduce unwanted pregnancies, to empower women, to promote life and maintain choice while minimizing and maybe even someday eliminating the need for or use of abortion.
Or we can remain in the swimming pool, continue our underwater conversations and let the game of “keep away” continue.
We tried again. And again. And again. Each time I yelled louder and enunciate more carefully. Finally, on the fifth or sixth round, my daughter finally heard me correctly. “MICKEY MOUSE!” she yelled.
The ongoing debate about abortion in this country bares some similarities to this underwater communication game. Both sides chant loudly and enunciate clearly, but they could all just as well be underwater. Their opponents can not understand them.
Unlike my recent game, however, when it comes to the debate on abortion, both sides have practically stopped listening or trying to understand.
Last week, in revoking the Mexico City Policy, President Obama said, “I have no desire to continue this stale and fruitless debate,” and pledged to bring people from all sides together for a fresh conversation on abortion.
I immediately dismissed this promise. A fresh conversation on abortion? Impossible.
Later, I began to consider the alternative. If we can’t somehow initiate a new conversation, the abortion issue will continue to be a game of political “keep away.” When liberals are in charge, national policies will make abortion easier. When conservatives hold the reins, policies will restrict abortions.
This is how it’s been for 36 years. I was four when the “keep away” game began.
So, assuming President Obama is sincere in his desire to create a new conversation, I’ve been thinking about what that might be. What would it sound like? How do you bring these ardent foes together?
First, a new conversation demands that neither side will receive everything they want. This has always been the first and final stumbling block on this issue. Pro-life groups can cede no ground on the taking of innocent life. And the pro-choice advocates stand firmly against any government infringement on a woman’s ability to manage her own body.
End of discussion.
But what if, in a new conversation, Roe v Wade was off the table? What if advocates for life gave up efforts to repeal Roe v Wade? What if we accepted that in terms of U.S. law -- not church teachings, spiritual understanding or moral positioning but legally speaking -- U.S. women have a legal right to chose?
Would this giant concession open the door to a fresh conversation on abortion? And could that liberate people in both camps to quit defending their most pure positions and get about the work of reducing the 1.2 million abortions in this country each year?
Ultimately, abortion is a lose-lose choice. Except in the case of rape, the mother (and father if he’s consulted) lose a life of their own making, the baby loses its future, thousands of potential adoptive parents lose an opportunity to love and parent that child, and society loses the promise inherent to that life.
I believe most Americans view abortion as an undesirable solution. No one, at least no one I’ve ever met, wakes up in the morning and thinks, “If only we could have more abortions in this country. That would be good for America.”
But in fighting to maintain a woman’s right to make this most intimate and significant decision, the pro-choice community has had to diminish the value of the life at stake. Granting any rights or compassion for the unborn child could jeopardize the woman’s exclusive authority to determine her and her baby’s destiny.
This position takes its most extreme form with pro-choice advocates who have more compassion for mistreated animals than for a baby girl accidentally born out of a botched abortion.
We are more reasonable than this. We can do a lot better, working together to reduce unwanted pregnancies, to empower women, to promote life and maintain choice while minimizing and maybe even someday eliminating the need for or use of abortion.
Or we can remain in the swimming pool, continue our underwater conversations and let the game of “keep away” continue.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Answering An Important Call
When a friend of mine announced last year that he was running for the legislature, he was surprised at first by the reaction from people. He expected a few pats on the back. Maybe a couple, “Atta boys.”
But most people -- friends, co-workers, even service club members -- said something quite different. “Why the heck do you want to do something like that? Are you crazy?”
I’m wasn’t too surprised by this response. Legislators are easy targets for criticism, especially during the session. People like to highlight frivolous bills to represent the work of the group as a whole. “Why are they wasting time selecting a state fruit?” critics grumbled last session. “Don’t they have more important things to do?”
Another favorite, “Rather than meeting for 80 days every two years, they should meet for two days every 80 years.” The crowd roars. Heads nod in agreement.
I have a different perspective. For almost 15 years, I’ve been ringside at our state’s legislative process – working for the governor, the legislature or as a lobbyist. I’ve been in public hearings and closed door meetings alike.
I don’t see a bunch of men and women bumbling dumbly through the process, milking the system for freebees and health benefits, or maneuvering laws to benefit themselves. I can’t honestly think of one such example.
Rather, I see 141 normal North Dakotans -- dads, moms, grandparents, farmers, business people and young professionals. People with families, careers and hobbies who somehow manage to extract themselves from their real lives to devote nearly four straight months to lawmaking.
Their days begin early, frequently end late and in between they live, eat and breathe policy, politics and potato skins. People line up to talk to them in the halls of the capitol, outside hearing rooms, at their desks, or through their computer, phone and mail.
Unlike many states, our citizen lawmakers act on every single piece of legislation introduced. Last session, that was nearly 950 bills including the state fruit initiative started by high school students as a way to learn about the legislative process.
I love the fact that in North Dakota anyone who wants to change our laws can try to by simply finding a legislator to introduce a bill. Every idea gets a fair hearing and a vote. No one sits at the gate and says, “This is a good bill, we’ll talk about that. But you there with the dumb idea, that one won’t be heard in my committee.”
Legislators are personal spokespeople for us in our self-governing process. They set policies that have significant consequences on life as we know it -- like whether we can drive and talk on a cell phone at the same time.
And they walk line-by-line through thousands of pages of the state budget that funds 73 agencies and all of our vital services. Want to see what’s involved in this? Sit in on an appropriations hearing for a day -- or even an hour. (Be sure to bring coffee, or Red Bull.)
In return for their work, North Dakota’s part-time legislators receive about $13,500/year plus health insurance. Taxpayers also cover room and board for legislators while they are in session. Not a pittance, but certainly not outrageous. Minnesota legislators earn twice as much. South Dakota about the same.
In California, legislators receive $110,000 year, a free car and nearly $150 per day for expenses.
At the opening of this year’s session, the Jamestown High School choir sang a beautiful song that paid tribute to those who “answer freedom’s call so freedom’s cry will still stay strong.”
Listening to the lyrics, images of soldiers and veterans came to mind. But as I looked around the legislative chambers at the people serving as our representatives, I realized they too had answered freedom’s call. Often, like in the case of my friend, without a lot of public support or encouragement.
Our legislators and the laws they pass aren’t perfect, and the process can be ugly. But the final product has been serving North Dakotans pretty well. Maybe these folks are a little crazy, but I’m sure thankful they are answering this call.
But most people -- friends, co-workers, even service club members -- said something quite different. “Why the heck do you want to do something like that? Are you crazy?”
I’m wasn’t too surprised by this response. Legislators are easy targets for criticism, especially during the session. People like to highlight frivolous bills to represent the work of the group as a whole. “Why are they wasting time selecting a state fruit?” critics grumbled last session. “Don’t they have more important things to do?”
Another favorite, “Rather than meeting for 80 days every two years, they should meet for two days every 80 years.” The crowd roars. Heads nod in agreement.
I have a different perspective. For almost 15 years, I’ve been ringside at our state’s legislative process – working for the governor, the legislature or as a lobbyist. I’ve been in public hearings and closed door meetings alike.
I don’t see a bunch of men and women bumbling dumbly through the process, milking the system for freebees and health benefits, or maneuvering laws to benefit themselves. I can’t honestly think of one such example.
Rather, I see 141 normal North Dakotans -- dads, moms, grandparents, farmers, business people and young professionals. People with families, careers and hobbies who somehow manage to extract themselves from their real lives to devote nearly four straight months to lawmaking.
Their days begin early, frequently end late and in between they live, eat and breathe policy, politics and potato skins. People line up to talk to them in the halls of the capitol, outside hearing rooms, at their desks, or through their computer, phone and mail.
Unlike many states, our citizen lawmakers act on every single piece of legislation introduced. Last session, that was nearly 950 bills including the state fruit initiative started by high school students as a way to learn about the legislative process.
I love the fact that in North Dakota anyone who wants to change our laws can try to by simply finding a legislator to introduce a bill. Every idea gets a fair hearing and a vote. No one sits at the gate and says, “This is a good bill, we’ll talk about that. But you there with the dumb idea, that one won’t be heard in my committee.”
Legislators are personal spokespeople for us in our self-governing process. They set policies that have significant consequences on life as we know it -- like whether we can drive and talk on a cell phone at the same time.
And they walk line-by-line through thousands of pages of the state budget that funds 73 agencies and all of our vital services. Want to see what’s involved in this? Sit in on an appropriations hearing for a day -- or even an hour. (Be sure to bring coffee, or Red Bull.)
In return for their work, North Dakota’s part-time legislators receive about $13,500/year plus health insurance. Taxpayers also cover room and board for legislators while they are in session. Not a pittance, but certainly not outrageous. Minnesota legislators earn twice as much. South Dakota about the same.
In California, legislators receive $110,000 year, a free car and nearly $150 per day for expenses.
At the opening of this year’s session, the Jamestown High School choir sang a beautiful song that paid tribute to those who “answer freedom’s call so freedom’s cry will still stay strong.”
Listening to the lyrics, images of soldiers and veterans came to mind. But as I looked around the legislative chambers at the people serving as our representatives, I realized they too had answered freedom’s call. Often, like in the case of my friend, without a lot of public support or encouragement.
Our legislators and the laws they pass aren’t perfect, and the process can be ugly. But the final product has been serving North Dakotans pretty well. Maybe these folks are a little crazy, but I’m sure thankful they are answering this call.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Looking for Lean New Year
This fall, I learned a concept that I knew immediately would be my 2009 New Year’s resolution. It’s called Lean Manufacturing, and it’s about seeking and employing small but continuous improvements to make production systems more efficient.
Lean manufacturing stems from a Japanese word and philosophy called Kaizan, which means continuous improvement. Japanese companies, led by Toyota, have been employing this philosophy since the 1950s and essentially driven American automakers to bankruptcy. (Perhaps you’ve noticed this in the news.)
This is intriguing testimony about the usefulness of Kaizan. A study comparing the improvement programs of Japanese versus American companies showed that in Japan, about 75 percent of employees participate in continuous improvement programs generating 37 ideas each on average. About 88 percent of these ideas are adopted, saving $126 per idea.
In the U.S., only 9 percent of employees surveyed participated in improvement programs, generating just .12 ideas per employee. Only 32 percent of these ideas were adopted. But each of them generated more than $6,000 in savings.
Impressive -- we are Americans afterall. We generate big, important ideas.
Not really. Even with our significant cost savings per idea, Japan blows us away with overall net savings per 100 employees of $422,000 compared to under $23,000 for every 100 U.S. employees.
Now, you might be wondering how lean manufacturing principles used by Japanese automakers relate to my New Year’s Resolution? I admit, it’s a bit of a stretch since I’ve never really manufactured anything except three meals a day, some unsightly crafts and, with heavy lifting from above, three children.
But one element of Kaizan appeals to me. The mantra states that small changes employed continuously add up to big savings.
The key word for me is small. Small changes -- I can do that. Don’t ask me to keep my kids’ faces clean or Legos and Bionicles separate. But, I can sort mail in the office rather than the kitchen. I can organize my closet according to color, and I can even give each child a specific hook for hanging their coat.
Every house has hundreds of systems in place. Often they develop by default, with little thought about purpose or efficiency, allowing us to function clumsily at best. Why do I keep all my cleaning rags on our top floor and the cleaning products someplace else? Why is mosquito repellent stored inside rather than out where the mosquitoes bite?
With a little effort, I’m certain I can improve the way we operate. As “LeanSpeak – The Productivity Business Improvement Dictionary” states, daily improvement in small amounts carried out in every job and function of the business (or home in this case) eventually accumulates into very large gains.
The end result might not save us a bunch of money, but saving time, frustration or stress even in small amounts will be a very large gain for this family.
Wishing you a happy (and lean) New Year.
Lean manufacturing stems from a Japanese word and philosophy called Kaizan, which means continuous improvement. Japanese companies, led by Toyota, have been employing this philosophy since the 1950s and essentially driven American automakers to bankruptcy. (Perhaps you’ve noticed this in the news.)
This is intriguing testimony about the usefulness of Kaizan. A study comparing the improvement programs of Japanese versus American companies showed that in Japan, about 75 percent of employees participate in continuous improvement programs generating 37 ideas each on average. About 88 percent of these ideas are adopted, saving $126 per idea.
In the U.S., only 9 percent of employees surveyed participated in improvement programs, generating just .12 ideas per employee. Only 32 percent of these ideas were adopted. But each of them generated more than $6,000 in savings.
Impressive -- we are Americans afterall. We generate big, important ideas.
Not really. Even with our significant cost savings per idea, Japan blows us away with overall net savings per 100 employees of $422,000 compared to under $23,000 for every 100 U.S. employees.
Now, you might be wondering how lean manufacturing principles used by Japanese automakers relate to my New Year’s Resolution? I admit, it’s a bit of a stretch since I’ve never really manufactured anything except three meals a day, some unsightly crafts and, with heavy lifting from above, three children.
But one element of Kaizan appeals to me. The mantra states that small changes employed continuously add up to big savings.
The key word for me is small. Small changes -- I can do that. Don’t ask me to keep my kids’ faces clean or Legos and Bionicles separate. But, I can sort mail in the office rather than the kitchen. I can organize my closet according to color, and I can even give each child a specific hook for hanging their coat.
Every house has hundreds of systems in place. Often they develop by default, with little thought about purpose or efficiency, allowing us to function clumsily at best. Why do I keep all my cleaning rags on our top floor and the cleaning products someplace else? Why is mosquito repellent stored inside rather than out where the mosquitoes bite?
With a little effort, I’m certain I can improve the way we operate. As “LeanSpeak – The Productivity Business Improvement Dictionary” states, daily improvement in small amounts carried out in every job and function of the business (or home in this case) eventually accumulates into very large gains.
The end result might not save us a bunch of money, but saving time, frustration or stress even in small amounts will be a very large gain for this family.
Wishing you a happy (and lean) New Year.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Fighting for the Christmas Spirit
Fighting for the Christmas Spirit
Last year, Christmas got the best of me and I vowed never to repeat that frazzled state of affairs. So, this year, I had a plan for managing the craziness and keeping true to the stillness and reflection that are suppose to characterize the advent season.
Christmas lights further undermined “Operation Christmas Spirit.” I untangled and eventually threw away an entire tub of half-working or completely dark lights. After hours of struggling with wires and bulbs, I wound the strands of working lights around some the garland on our porch, and then lined up the kids to watch me turn them on.
· The Chipmunks Christmas CD played on a continuous loop.
· Children who “order” extravagant (expensive) gifts from Santa because they are free.
· Ads that count down the remaining shopping or shipping days beginning in September.
· And presents purchased in advance that can not be found in their clever hiding place.
- Redecorate our homes.
- Buy (or make) presents for family, friends, neighbors, teachers, service providers, clients, co-workers and needy children.
- Send cards with adorable pictures to everyone we’ve ever met and want to remain in contact with.
- Fill our homes with fancy, home-baked sweets.
“Operation Christmas Spirit” has been a revealing effort. I’ve had to fight harder than I expected to maintain calm and good cheer. There are many forces working against it -- most of them our own making.
We’ve turned the simplicity of that first Christmas upside down and transformed the advent season into a series of tasks -- things to check off rather than experience.
In the final week before Christmas, my plan needs to be fortified. It’s time to scale back the Martha Stewart expectations and refocus on the humility and faith of the Holy Family -- the real source of Christmas spirit.
Have a beautiful and peaceful Christmas. May your Christmas lights burn bright.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Free Play: Batteries Not Necessary
My friend was attempting to wrestle her three young children out the door for swimming lessons. She held her toddler on one hip while trying, rather unsuccessfully, to direct her other kids into their coats.I would have helped but I was corralling my own kids to our car for guitar lessons.
As we exchanged exasperated looks, I blurted out the one thought popped into my mind, “Our moms did not do this.”
Actually, they did few of the activities that are common place for today’s parents. No pre-school at age three, music lessons for infants or all-day kindergarten. No swimming lessons for diaper-wearing babies or Itty Bitty anything.
Instead I cruised around with neighborhood friends, immersed in a world of make-believe games like “house on bikes” where our block was our city, our bikes were our cars and each house was a different store or location.
When I was bored or unruly, my parents usually offered two choices. Go outside or get to work. Today, parents have an entirely different box of tools: Nickelodeon, Nintendo, Wii, Webkinz, structured activities like sports and lessons and super stores brimming with passive toys that come with pre-written scripts.
Author Kenneth R. Ginsburg, MD, says free play is vital in developing strong parent-child bonds and well-adjusted children. It helps children develop socially, emotionally, physically and cognitively and teaches them how to manage stress, solve problems and get along with others.
And I thought we were just having fun.
Obviously, times have changed. Most parents are employed now, and children can’t safely roam about town like I did as a child. Still, there are plenty of steps we can take to provide balance and room for free play. Here are some ideas from the AAP:
The website www.playborhood.com offers a wide variety of insights on this subject. The material was worth considering prior to Christmas shopping for my kids. Pass by the “baby Einstein” videos and reach instead for books, blocks and other battery-free classics.
Now excuse me. I have some shovels and gloves to wrap for two little warriors who are plotting a snowball attack on bad guys across the street.
I would have helped but I was corralling my own kids to our car for guitar lessons.
As we exchanged exasperated looks, I blurted out the one thought popped into my mind, “Our moms did not do this.”
Actually, they did few of the activities that are common place for today’s parents. No pre-school at age three, music lessons for infants or all-day kindergarten. No swimming lessons for diaper-wearing babies or Itty Bitty anything.
Instead I cruised around with neighborhood friends, immersed in a world of make-believe games like “house on bikes” where our block was our city, our bikes were our cars and each house was a different store or location.
When I was bored or unruly, my parents usually offered two choices. Go outside or get to work. Today, parents have an entirely different box of tools: Nickelodeon, Nintendo, Wii, Webkinz, structured activities like sports and lessons and super stores brimming with passive toys that come with pre-written scripts.
A report last year from the
Author Kenneth R. Ginsburg, MD, says free play is vital in developing strong parent-child bonds and well-adjusted children. It helps children develop socially, emotionally, physically and cognitively and teaches them how to manage stress, solve problems and get along with others.
And I thought we were just having fun.
Authors were careful to note that organized activities have many benefits, but said it’s unclear when a child (or mom, I might add) may be “overscheduled” to their detriment, leading to anxiety, depression and other things that have no place in childhood.
Personally, I wish organized sports didn’t start so young. I love athletics, but right now my kids are perfectly satisfied with a shovel and snow bank. I hate to give that up and our limited family time when they are so young.
But if we wait too long, our kids will be too far behind to play some sports. This is the “treadmill” that Ginsburg said parents struggle to step off.
“The downtime that allows parents and children some of the most productive time for interaction is at a premium when schedules become highly packed with adult-supervised or adult-driven activities,” Ginsburg cautions.
These highly packed schedules have another downside. It takes away some of the pleasures of parenting. Hussling kids to and fro, in and out of cars and car seats isn’t a fun way to spend time with your family.
Obviously, times have changed. Most parents are employed now, and children can’t safely roam about town like I did as a child. Still, there are plenty of steps we can take to provide balance and room for free play. Here are some ideas from the AAP:
- Play and family togetherness are tried, trusted, and traditional methods of promoting success and happiness in children. Ignore messages that suggest otherwise.
- Chose “true toys”, such as blocks and dolls, in which children use their imagination fully.
- Read to your children, even at young ages.
- Allow children to explore a variety of interests in a balanced way without feeling pressured to excel at all of them.
- Seek a balanced schedule based on each child’s unique needs, skills, and temperament.
- Choose child care and early education programs that offer more than “academic preparedness.”
The website www.playborhood.com offers a wide variety of insights on this subject. The material was worth considering prior to Christmas shopping for my kids. Pass by the “baby Einstein” videos and reach instead for books, blocks and other battery-free classics.
Now excuse me. I have some shovels and gloves to wrap for two little warriors who are plotting a snowball attack on bad guys across the street.
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