Let’s Not Settle for Average

This summer, we packed our three kids into a mini-van and ventured out on our first “real” family vacation. Our agenda may have been a bit ambitious but the travel planner was pretty excited about traveling without an infant.

Our itinerary included two nights in Minneapolis followed by two nights at a lake near Madison. At this point, our kids were good and tired and ready to melt down over major decisions like which underpants to wear. Lucky for us, our vacation was just beginning.

We met my husband’s family at a water park in the Wisconsin Dells. Our first “ride” was in the wave pool. Now, I’m a big fan of Bismarck’s own Wachter Wave Pool but it is definitely not in the same ocean as the one we experienced in the Dells. This was like Hawaii under roof. The pool was even filled with salt water.

When the waves began, our kids clung for their lives on inner tubes while we attempted to protect them from the masses. The ride rapidly transformed into chaos. I caught my husband’s eye and he yelled, “It’s like a sea of Flubber!” We were surrounded by white bodies that had clearly consumed too much cheese. Oh well, we were in Wisconsin.

The water park experience was great fun and Wisconsin is a beautiful state (with excellent cheese!) But the Wisconsin Dells has sacrificed much of its natural beauty for cheap tourist gimmicks. The water parks on every corner seemed almost genuine compared to the surrounding ski shows, Indian trading posts, haunted houses, taffy shops, roller coasters, and even an imitation White House crime scene.

Contrast this with the small town of Stoughton, Wisc., just outside of Madison. This must be the Norwegian capital of Wisconsin. Downtown Stoughton is a real showpiece. The main street isn’t long, but all the storefronts have been restored. American and Norwegian flags fly along the entire length of the street. All the signage was consistently styled, and the sidewalks were concrete stamped to look like cobblestones.

Businesses had to conform to these standards and it probably cost them some extra money. But the end result is a charming destination where people want to be. That has to be good for business.

Research shows people are looking for “authentic” travel experiences, and now that I’m back in the travel scene I say “Amen” to that. Unfortunately, so many cities in America look the same and offer many of the same stores, restaurants and even entertainment experiences. I have greater appreciation today for the brave leaders in Medora who blocked construction of a water park some years ago. That could’ve been the beginning of the end of Medora’s unique appeal. If people want water parks, they can probably find them right at home.

Bismarck-Mandan is just emerging as a community and a destination for others. We have a great place to preserve and mold for the future. Our magnificent river valley, incredible views, interesting historical stories, original restaurants and shops, and peaceful coulees that meander throughout our community offer a lot of appeal for visitors and residents.

Our urgent challenge today is finding ways to use these resources without destroying them. How can we enjoy our river and develop along it while also protecting our most precious natural resource and lifeline for this community?

In order to maximize the awesome potential of our area, city leaders need to think big and make some tough choices on basic but vital matters like zoning, traffic and signage. Certainly, some people will gripe about it. However, those people and everyone else will ultimately benefit from Bismarck-Mandan being a great destination along one of America’s most important rivers.

If we want to be more attractive and appealing than the average American city, we need to be confident about what we have and set high standards for developing our unique place on earth.

Individual Responsibility Often Absent

If you spend anything more than, oh, 30 seconds listening to a presidential debate, you will most certainly hear a candidate making bold promises for solving any number of societal problems -- health care, housing, wages, social security, disaster recovery.

Listen closely to the discussion and one important party is typically absent of responsibility: individuals. In our culture today, we go out of our way to shift responsibility for problems away from individuals. Michael Vick killed dogs because of his upbringing. Parents blame their teenager’s drinking on his friends. I blame my husband for our messy house.

In all of these examples (especially the last one), some of the blame might be deserved. But by shifting the blame we are undermining the responsibility people, regardless of circumstances, have for their own actions.

Consider the debate in America about public education. Some argue teachers are responsible for low test scores. Others insist the state is at fault for not providing enough money to schools. Still others blame the federal government for leaving kids behind.

One obvious target is noticeably absent from this list: parents. As a parent, I feel it’s up to me to ensure that my children learn. So what’s my responsibility if he or she is failing? My husband likes the way Chris Rock sums up parental responsibility. “If you can’t read, that’s your mom’s fault. If you can’t read because you don’t have any lights, that your dad’s fault.”

Ask any teacher, “How can parents improve the outcome of kids in school?” and many will say, “Let me count the ways.” One teacher recently told me she wished parents would simply get their kids to bed at a decent hour so they were alert enough in school to actually learn.

But what elected official is going to hold parents even partially accountable for the challenges facing our schools? Sadly enough, probably not one who will ever win an election. Politicians are supposed to “feel our pain” not suggest we are in any way responsible for it.

This begs the question, what is our responsibility for taking care of ourselves and our families? Government can and should provide for people who can’t provide for themselves, but we have endorsed its growth far beyond that.

I think of my grandfather who established a homestead near Parshall, N.D., in the 1920s. He raised three children there on barren land and a one-room tar-paper shack. I’ve read letters he penned in which he told of having “no money” for the winter. Despite these dire circumstances, he was confident his family would survive because they had “canned and stored a lot of food.”

Can you imagine growing and canning enough food to last an entire North Dakota winter? No wonder he could eat lard sandwiches and still lived to be nearly 100.

He didn’t blame anyone for his hard luck, nor did he expect someone to fix his problems. He and my grandma worked from sun up to sun down every day. They received a little help from the government during the Depression, but for the most part they made it on their own and wanted it no other way.

That’s the kind of hard work and determination this state and nation are built on. I hope our generation can reach back into our ancestry and resurrect some of this gutsy independence. At some point I believe we will have no other choice.

Someone, please pass the lard.