Individual Responsibility Often Absent

If you spend anything more than, oh, 30 seconds listening to a presidential debate, you will most certainly hear a candidate making bold promises for solving any number of societal problems -- health care, housing, wages, social security, disaster recovery.

Listen closely to the discussion and one important party is typically absent of responsibility: individuals. In our culture today, we go out of our way to shift responsibility for problems away from individuals. Michael Vick killed dogs because of his upbringing. Parents blame their teenager’s drinking on his friends. I blame my husband for our messy house.

In all of these examples (especially the last one), some of the blame might be deserved. But by shifting the blame we are undermining the responsibility people, regardless of circumstances, have for their own actions.

Consider the debate in America about public education. Some argue teachers are responsible for low test scores. Others insist the state is at fault for not providing enough money to schools. Still others blame the federal government for leaving kids behind.

One obvious target is noticeably absent from this list: parents. As a parent, I feel it’s up to me to ensure that my children learn. So what’s my responsibility if he or she is failing? My husband likes the way Chris Rock sums up parental responsibility. “If you can’t read, that’s your mom’s fault. If you can’t read because you don’t have any lights, that your dad’s fault.”

Ask any teacher, “How can parents improve the outcome of kids in school?” and many will say, “Let me count the ways.” One teacher recently told me she wished parents would simply get their kids to bed at a decent hour so they were alert enough in school to actually learn.

But what elected official is going to hold parents even partially accountable for the challenges facing our schools? Sadly enough, probably not one who will ever win an election. Politicians are supposed to “feel our pain” not suggest we are in any way responsible for it.

This begs the question, what is our responsibility for taking care of ourselves and our families? Government can and should provide for people who can’t provide for themselves, but we have endorsed its growth far beyond that.

I think of my grandfather who established a homestead near Parshall, N.D., in the 1920s. He raised three children there on barren land and a one-room tar-paper shack. I’ve read letters he penned in which he told of having “no money” for the winter. Despite these dire circumstances, he was confident his family would survive because they had “canned and stored a lot of food.”

Can you imagine growing and canning enough food to last an entire North Dakota winter? No wonder he could eat lard sandwiches and still lived to be nearly 100.

He didn’t blame anyone for his hard luck, nor did he expect someone to fix his problems. He and my grandma worked from sun up to sun down every day. They received a little help from the government during the Depression, but for the most part they made it on their own and wanted it no other way.

That’s the kind of hard work and determination this state and nation are built on. I hope our generation can reach back into our ancestry and resurrect some of this gutsy independence. At some point I believe we will have no other choice.

Someone, please pass the lard.