Free Play: Batteries Not Necessary

My friend was attempting to wrestle her three young children out the door for swimming lessons. She held her toddler on one hip while trying, rather unsuccessfully, to direct her other kids into their coats.

I would have helped but I was corralling my own kids to our car for guitar lessons.

As we exchanged exasperated looks, I blurted out the one thought popped into my mind, “Our moms did not do this.”

Actually, they did few of the activities that are common place for today’s parents. No pre-school at age three, music lessons for infants or all-day kindergarten. No swimming lessons for diaper-wearing babies or Itty Bitty anything.

Instead I cruised around with neighborhood friends, immersed in a world of make-believe games like “house on bikes” where our block was our city, our bikes were our cars and each house was a different store or location.

When I was bored or unruly, my parents usually offered two choices. Go outside or get to work. Today, parents have an entirely different box of tools: Nickelodeon, Nintendo, Wii, Webkinz, structured activities like sports and lessons and super stores brimming with passive toys that come with pre-written scripts.

A report last year from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) takes a hard look at today’s child-rearing practices and concludes that unstructured playtime for American children is seriously suffering. A variety of causes are to blame -- changing family structures, passive toys, increasing pressure for kids to perform, and education policies that have led to less recess and phy ed in many schools.

Author Kenneth R. Ginsburg, MD, says free play is vital in developing strong parent-child bonds and well-adjusted children. It helps children develop socially, emotionally, physically and cognitively and teaches them how to manage stress, solve problems and get along with others.

And I thought we were just having fun.

Authors were careful to note that organized activities have many benefits, but said it’s unclear when a child (or mom, I might add) may be “overscheduled” to their detriment, leading to anxiety, depression and other things that have no place in childhood.

Personally, I wish organized sports didn’t start so young. I love athletics, but right now my kids are perfectly satisfied with a shovel and snow bank. I hate to give that up and our limited family time when they are so young.

But if we wait too long, our kids will be too far behind to play some sports. This is the “treadmill” that Ginsburg said parents struggle to step off.

“The downtime that allows parents and children some of the most productive time for interaction is at a premium when schedules become highly packed with adult-supervised or adult-driven activities,” Ginsburg cautions.

These highly packed schedules have another downside. It takes away some of the pleasures of parenting. Hussling kids to and fro, in and out of cars and car seats isn’t a fun way to spend time with your family.

Obviously, times have changed. Most parents are employed now, and children can’t safely roam about town like I did as a child. Still, there are plenty of steps we can take to provide balance and room for free play. Here are some ideas from the AAP:

• Play and family togetherness are tried, trusted, and traditional methods of promoting success and happiness in children. Ignore messages that suggest otherwise.
• Chose “true toys”, such as blocks and dolls, in which children use their imagination fully.
• Read to your children, even at young ages.
• Allow children to explore a variety of interests in a balanced way without feeling pressured to excel at all of them.
• Seek a balanced schedule based on each child’s unique needs, skills, and temperament.
• Choose child care and early education programs that offer more than “academic preparedness.”

The website www.playborhood.com offers a wide variety of insights on this subject. The material was worth considering prior to Christmas shopping for my kids. Pass by the “baby Einstein” videos and reach instead for books, blocks and other battery-free classics.

Now excuse me. I have some shovels and gloves to wrap for two little warriors who are plotting a snowball attack on bad guys across the street.