Lessons in Leadership from Ed Schafer

Some like to believe that the only way people succeed in this world is by birth right or by reaching the top through unscrupulous manners. I reject this notion.

I prefer the “cream rises to the top” theory. Sure there are cases where people deceive others and manipulate themselves into positions of power and wealth, but generally I believe you reap what you sow. Most people who rise to high leadership positions do so because they are outstanding – smart, loyal, and fair people who readily embrace hard work.

So it is with great satisfaction that I’ve watched Ed Schafer reach the pinnacle of his career – exceeding even his own wildest dreams to become a United State’s Cabinet Secretary.

Every effective leader offers certain strengths. Here are some valuable qualities I observed in Ed Schafer.

Everyone matters: Ed respects the people cleaning his office as much as a dignitary with a fancy title. He and Nancy always paid a visit to the cooks in the kitchen at community events – and often helped them work. We joked that some of Ed’s closest advisors were the people at the gas station where he bought his daily Big Gulp. His sincerity and fondness for people has earned him loads of good will throughout our state.

Have faith in individuals: Hire good people, discover their strengths and then allow them to do their job. Ed Schafer trusts the advice of staff people (even if it occasionally proves to be wrong.) More than that, his faith in people is the foundation for his belief that the best solutions to society’s challenges rest not in government but in the creative minds and ingenuity of individuals.

Be positive: Ed Schafer is more likely to see possibilities than problems. He isn’t afraid to pursue big ideas, and his optimism is contagious. When Ed was elected governor, North Dakotans were down on our luck and our future. What a contrast to today, when hundreds of North Dakotans stood up to defend our state against a shallow and biased picture painted by the National Geographic. This turn around in spirit began with Ed Schafer.

Don’t take yourself too seriously: It’s okay to laugh and have fun, even at your own expense. And it’s certainly okay to break with tradition. In his campaign for governor in 1992, Ed Schafer was the one who started walking through the crowds of parade goers rather than waving stiffly from the back end of a convertible.

A favorite memory that illustrates both his and Nancy’s good humor comes from their “Capitol for a Day” program. I still chuckle when I think of Nancy Schafer running down the streets of Wilton in her business suit and high heels, pushing a twin bed that held a helmet-wearing Lt. Governor Rose Marie Myrdal. Nancy was determined to beat Ed, who was pushing an opposing team’s bed right beside her.

Leaders like Ed Schafer inspire loyalty and good will, make you want to do more and be better. They rise to the top of their game, and bring others with them. They leave a lasting impression on the organizations and people they touch.

We can all learn from the examples set by Ed Schafer. The people at the USDA will certainly benefit from their time with him.

Wisdom in Being Bored

Last weekend we piled our kids and mounds of stuff into our van and drove to the Rocky Mountains. Whenever mentioning a road trip like this, the first question people ask, even before inquiring about your travel plans, is “Do you have a DVD player in your car?”

Car DVD players are to road trips what a nap is to a new mother. Heaven. They break up long trips, help pass time more quickly, soothe restless kids and give parents time to talk and reconnect. My parents really could have used one back in the ‘60s when they packed 7 kids in a station wagon and traveled from Williston to California for a month in a popup camper. (What were they thinking?)

Car DVDs are among a long line of tools and trends that help us pacify, occupy and entertain our kids from the second they take their first breath. Newborn babies lie in vibrating seats, go to sleep to ocean noises and watch cleverly named videos we think will make them smart. TV, video games, organized sports, activities and all-day kindergarten are creating much more structure and stimulation for kids at increasingly young ages.

Between the shuffle of these schedules and the irresistible appeal of electronic media, children can go for days without any real downtime. A number of psychologists, educators and parents believe this hyper-stimulating environment is causing kids to be more restless and agitated, to have lower attention spans, to be dependent on instant gratification and less able to solve problems or complete projects on their own. These experts are actually exploring the benefits of boredom.

A private elementary school on the East Coast has incorporated a radical solution into their curriculum. The entire school, kindergarteners and all, starts the morning with 30 minutes of silence. The principle argues that kids need uninterrupted time to think in order to learn how to solve problems.

Our recent trek to western Montana was a case study on this theory of boredom and problem solving. We don’t have a DVD player for our car. If we thought our kids could handle one in moderation, we might relent. But moderation is not in their vocabulary. We would be dogged with requests for “Sponge Bob” before we reached the end of the driveway.

So, on our latest journey, they faced one big problem: What to do for 10 hours while confined to a car seat. They did a fair amount of typical car activities – coloring, listening to music and stories, snacking, tormenting each other and asking if we were almost there. But they also concocted some intricate games involving dinosaurs, Darth Vader, Luke Skywalker, multiple imaginary dams and a bookstore.

We counted freight trains, sang Yankee Doodle Dandy (no fewer than 39 times), and saw five bald eagles. And we talked. A few movies could have been in the mix of activities, but no one suffered much without it. I enjoyed seeing them immersed in a make-believe world of their own design rather than being pacified by the product of someone else’s imagination.

Ultimately, those hours on the road were a nice break for our family from all the noise, gadgets and distractions of the everyday world.

I’m not sure how long we’ll maintain our DVD-free travel policy, but I do know this. If a little downtime is good for my kids, “boredom” is one craft project even I can handle. Next time my kids say, “Mom, I’m bored.” I can say cheerfully, “Excellent! That’s good for your brain.”

Shopping for Good Leaders

My husband and I recently bought new furniture for our home office. This project involved several research missions to examine the selection at every furniture store in town as well as online and in catalogues. We compared prices and quality and debated the best configurations for our needs. All told, we probably spent 8-10 hours making this purchase.

We follow a similar process for all major buys and I suspect most Americans are the same. We want to get the best quality for the best price, and we are willing to invest some time doing so.

This year, we will be making a “major purchase” for our nation -- electing a new president and countless other leaders on the national, state and local level. These people will wield incredible power to affect nearly every aspect of our daily lives – our safety and security, personal freedoms, healthcare and how much money remains in our paychecks. The impact these leaders will have on our kids through the policies they pass stands to be even greater.

Knowing this, how much time will you spend researching this “purchase” and doing your part to obtain the best quality leaders? Studies suggest the answer for most Americans is very little. In the last presidential election, nearly 45 percent of eligible Americans didn’t even take time to vote much less examine candidates’ credentials, experience or positions on key issues.

In a recent conversation, a new friend was taken aback when I said I love politics. “You do?” she exclaimed as if I had just confessed to enjoying the smell of bad breathe. She is completely disinterested in politics because, as she put it, she can never really figure out who is telling the truth and she doesn’t think her voice matters. “I just feel like they are going to do whatever they want anyway so what difference can I make?”

This woman is a smart, friendly, optimistic person who is a mother, wife and hard-working member of our business community. And unfortunately, she reflects the feelings of millions of Americans regarding politics. Who can I believe? What difference can I make? Why should I care?

I’d like to offer three thoughts. First, for those who struggle to determine who to believe, skip the traditional news sources and political ads and go direct. The internet has resources for researching candidates, analyzing their skills and experience, and determining who best mirrors your beliefs. Check out www.vote-smart.org, www.2decide.com or just Google “2008 presidential election.”

Second, recent down-to-the-wire elections and recounts should be evidence enough that every vote matters. In 2006, one North Dakota legislative race was determined by only four votes.

But participating in the political process comes down to more than a vote. It’s a modest investment in the freedom and opportunities we enjoy as Americans and a recognition that millions of people have died to preserve these. It’s a vital act of preserving for future generations the same privileges we enjoy to think and work, worship and play freely, everyday, with barely a second thought.

And finally, why should you care? Every election is important – this one seems particularly so. Our elected leaders will be forging new ground on issues such as national security, tax and economic policy, healthcare, immigration and many others. Their decisions will establish a direction for our nation and world for generations. I want our country to step strongly in the way of promoting personal responsibility and keeping terror-minded extremists on the defensive.

Some people protest that it’s way too early to worry about an election that is nearly 10 months away. That might be true for state and local races, but we have an excellent opportunity this month to get involved in the presidential selection process. With North Dakota participating in Super Tuesday events on Feb. 5, we all have a chance to advocate for a favorite candidate among a broad slate of choices.

Now is the time to begin shopping around for our nation’s next leader. I urge you to invest some time in the process, get familiar with the products available, compare the quality, question the claims. You and your family will feel the affects of this purchase every day for many years. Good or bad, all sales are essentially final.

Seeking Less in 2008

January is named after the Roman god Janus, the god of new beginnings. He had two faces, one on the front of his head and one on the back. This handy feature allowed him to look backward and forward at the same time.

Today we all are like Janus – looking back on the successes and disappointments of 2007, but more importantly, looking forward to 2008. I love new beginnings, and always look forward to New Year’s resolutions that might make this the year I finally pull it all together and become my best possible self.

When I was in my 20s, I struggled to narrow down my list of New Year’s resolutions into 10 things that would make me smarter, worldlier or more employable. My lifestyle has changed a bit since then. Last year, I had one resolution: to make Sundays a day of rest. This was a great goal, but proved to be much harder than I expected. And not very restful. I only managed to accomplish this two out of 52 Sundays.

This year I’m taking a different approach to resolutions. My number one personal frustration is watching days melt away into years while some of my biggest dreams bob around aimlessly in my head like a float in the Macy’s parade. (Maybe I should resolve to read one of those self-improvement books collecting dust on my book shelves.)

My resolution this year is inspired by Ed Schafer. When he was governor he always required state agencies to search for savings by submitting budgets that were less than 100 percent of their existing budget. In doing so, he told agency directors, “I’m not asking you to do more with less. I’m really asking you to consider doing less.”

In our time-crunched, high-stress society, looking for ways to “do less” strikes me as a worthy exercise for just about anyone.

Doing less is the central ingredient of the two most common New Year’s resolutions: losing weight (eating less) and saving money (spending less). These two resolutions actually work well together. Amy Dacyczyn, author of “The Tightwad Gazette” (a book full of practical and somewhat crazy money-saving tips), ranks “thinness” as one of her five best bargains. I love her simple sensibility.

“Doing less” could well apply to some destructive behaviors like yelling at my kids, gossiping or complaining. This idea resonates with me right now because I’ve been reading about the overwhelming power of the human tongue to hurt and destroy.

Losing weight, saving money and being a nicer person are all excellent ambitions, but they are not ultimately what I’m after with my “doing less” resolution. I’m looking to clear out the clutter. Simplify. Do less of the crappy little things that consume so much time. Less errands, returns, activities, junk mail and junk email. Less shuffling of toys or listening to unnecessary noise. Rather than making my list longer and blood pressure higher, I’m searching for things to cut out, do without or simplify in order to live life more fully.

Ultimately, I know I won’t really do less. I’m not looking for time to sit on the couch and watch TV. My hope is to make a little room in my marching band of daily life so I reel in and play with one of those big dreams that are floating along in my parade.

Finding and Spreading Joy

I have a friend who is obsessed with joy. The word is even painted on her kitchen wall.

This busy mother of four young boys doesn’t have time to be obsessed with much, so when she first told me about this new pursuit, my brain immediately thought, “Oh, she’s seeking happiness.” And, as if reading my simple mind, she quickly continued, “Not joy as in being happy all the time, but in a deeper, more spiritual sense.”

Unfortunately, our conversation was interrupted by an urgent demand for Legos, but I’ve been thinking about the meaning of joy ever since. What is joy and where does it come from?

Some merchants suggest joy comes in the shape of a diamond or the form of a new car. I can’t relate to the car thing, but I have to admit I did feel pretty joyful when I received my engagement ring, but fortunately, that had little to do with the ring.

The word “joy” has a lot of different forms – joyful, joyous, enjoy. The term is used in a variety of creative ways. “Joy” dish soap. (What an insult!) Joy rides – an oxymoron for me. Or the “Joy of Cooking.” Somehow, I don’t think this applies to “boxed” mac and cheese.

All of these “joys” suggest pleasure, but joy is more than that. Joy is the return of good health after battling a major illness or health scare. Joy is the homecoming of a mom or dad, son or daughter after combat duty. Joy is the birth of a baby, your own or the one in the manger, a bundle of joy.

Sometimes joy can even shine in unexpected places. The comfort and support of friends during a crisis or tragedy can often create joy amid great stress or sorrow.

I recently learned the sign language expression for joy. Words can’t do justice to this sign, but I’ll do my best to describe it. The sign involves holding your hands about six inches away from your stomach and rotating them in a circle one over the other as if to suggest something positive is emanating out from inside of you.

So, all these ponderings bring me to Christmas ... If a season can be summarized by one word, Christmas is joy. Many of us carve out hours of time in December to spread joy and good cheer to people we love and appreciate – family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, customers, newspaper carriers, even perfect strangers. We give like crazy, listen to meaningful music and take time to socialize and enjoy others.

December is a marathon month of joy seeking and giving. We exhaust ourselves spreading this joy, and then, January rolls around and we pack it away with all the wreaths, ribbons and other wrappings of Christmas.

We can’t purchase joy, but we can seek it and spread it in attitude and spirit. What I really appreciate about my friend is that she is intent on nurturing joy not just at Christmas but always, every day, even at 5 p.m. when the collective energy of her four little boys seems ready to blow the top off her house. The word quietly resonates from her kitchen wall. Joy.

May you seek and find abundant joy this Christmas and throughout the New Year.

Rationing Christmas Cheer

Rationing was a part of every day life growing up in a family with eight children. Clothes, food, free-time, hot water for showers -- most commodities were tightly controlled. With a lot of people living under one average-size roof, anyone who exceeded the firmly established limit was sure to be caught.

Socks were the source of some very unholy wars in our house. My brother Dave put his initials on the toes of all his socks so he could immediately identify any thief who dared take one. Ice cream and sweet cereal were also closely guarded. To this day, I will serve myself two scoops of ice cream and return to the freezer for a refill rather than exceed the two-scoop ice cream limit that was drilled into me as a child.

Rationing was a necessity for my parents, and Christmas gifts were no exception. None of our relatives could afford to buy presents for all of us so we typically received three gifts: one from our parents, one from our “sibling swap” and one from Santa -- plus a couple treats in our stocking.

I remember feeling extremely jealous of a friend who once received her own TV for Christmas, but other than that I was usually quite satisfied with my bounty. My brother and I salivated over toys in the LaBelle’s catalogue, and I’ll never forget one year actually receiving the Easy Bake Oven I marked on those pages. The anticipation was far better than the toy.

Just last year I threw away a digital clock radio I received for Christmas in 5^th grade. It was cutting-edge electronics in its time. (Sadly, the new one I received to replace it lasted less than one year.)

I expect many others in my generation have similar childhood experiences. Our parents had less “stuff” available for purchase and less money available for purchasing. Besides, showering kids with “stuff” wasn’t fashionable or as common as it is today.

Still, compared to the meager gifts they received as kids, my parents spoiled us rotten. My mom has vivid memories of the few Christmases in which she received “a” gift under the tree. Their Christmas stockings were stuffed with a couple pieces of fruit.

Looking back, I’m extremely grateful I had to share, wait, hope and be satisfied with less “stuff” than I wanted as a child, and I want my kids to experience these “hardships” as well. And, since they probably aren’t going to learn them by being one of eight children, here are a few simple ideas I’ve gathered or concocted for controlling this holiday’s reckless consumerism:

• Censor the ads – ignore the inserts, magazines and email promotions. This saves time and prevents me from being lured away from my goal by good deals.
• Ration – establish firm gift limits, even for relatives, and stick with it.
• Agree with your kids to give excess gifts to children who live with real hardships.
• Pay with cash rather than credit.
• Give at least one gift with religious significance.
• Give gifts of time to a local charity.

I love the symbolism of the gift-giving tradition at Christmas. Rather than being a lesson in greed and an unsettling display of excess, I want it to be a source of joy and an expression of love and thanksgiving in our family.

With a little old-fashioned rationing, I think it can be.

Girls Gone Mild

My daughter jumped in the car one day last fall and declared with a troubled voice, “Mom, all the kids in my class say Pooh is for babies.”

My heart sank. We’ve been warned that kids grow up fast, but I honestly thought we had a few more years of Tigger and Pooh. After all, she was only four. Fortunately, my husband lobbied a persuasive defense for Pooh and the little bear still remains in our daughter’s good graces. His days are numbered though – he’ll be left behind by High School Musical any day.

It’s not easy preserving the innocence of childhood these days, especially for little girls. Bratz dolls dressed like pint-sized prostitutes line the aisles of toy stores. Abercrombie & Fitch sells thong underwear for 7-12 year olds. Even Disney has joined in with modern, scantily-clad princesses like Ariel and Jasmine.

There are few places to hide from sexualized images of women and girls – images that promote women not for any positive character quality but only as attractive objects for sexual satisfaction.

Television, the grocery store, even some of our own North Dakota businesses are getting in on the action. A Fargo radio station this summer bought a billboard featuring a woman’s torso in a bikini with the words “Turn us on.” A local dance studio teaches preschool girls to shimmy and “shake their booties.”

One recent Sunday while reading the newspaper in his Pooh character PJs, my husband pointed out the Halloween costumes. Each of the costumes -- expressly marketed to teenage girls -- was a different play on a common theme. A sexy pirate, naughty nurse, French maid, little devil. All of the teenage models boasted unnaturally skinny figures, sizable busts, bare legs and a flirty pose – perfect for a Halloween party with pubescent boys.

Sexualized images of women are so common many of us stopped being surprised by them long ago. I’ve been snapped out of my silent submission more than once with questions like, “Why are princesses so skinny Mom?” or “Why does that girl have a tattoo way down there on her back?”

The impact these images have on adults is one thing. But what are young children who are developing their attitudes about themselves and each other suppose to think when bombarded by these powerful messages? What are teenagers, raging with hormones, to do when faced with sexual images everywhere?

The answer to these questions is fairly obvious. Young people are becoming sexually active much earlier. And although teenage pregnancies are down, STDs in people ages 15-24 are rampant, even in North Dakota. Adolescent girls struggle with eating disorders and some even resort to plastic surgery to measure up to the images of perfect, sexy women surrounding them every day.

It’s easy to feel defenseless among all of these powerful forces, but we do have a number of good weapons to defend our kids. The American Psychology Association recommends:

• Turn off the TV or watch programs with your kids so you can identify with them the stereotypes.
• Boycott toys, books, videos and magazines that promote sexualized images of girls, including many popular teen magazines.
• Encourage involvement in activities that promote the building of inner character not outer beauty.

If ever there were a cause for a modern feminist movement, this is it. The sexual revolution of the ‘60s liberated women sexually. Now we need a new revolution to fight the superficial sexuality that threatens to define us.

Let’s wear the bras but burn the Bratz dolls.