Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Thoughts on nesting and letting go

This week I embraced a spring ritual, common for many but new to me -- spring cleaning. A book I stumbled across at the library titled, “How to Cheat at Organizing” inspired me.

Over the last few days, I have attacked several of our home’s catchall places for stuff using the author’s “Four S” organizing scheme – strip, scrap, sort, store. Unfortunately, I’ve discovered in the process that just about every storage place in our house could be mistaken as a “junk drawer.”

This weekend I took the “4S” mantra to the garage, tackling step one -- strip -- on one of the windiest days of the year. As I chased an extra-large dog kennel that was tumbling rapidly uncontrollably down the street and fought back several runaway bikes and lids, I decided this probably wasn’t my best moment in front of the neighbors.

But it wasn’t my worst either. Last month, they watched me run barefoot through the snow in my pajamas chasing after an errant puppy and screaming in a voice more shrill than Hillary Clinton at a political rally.

As I was weeding through our dusty possessions and shuffling things into piles in the garage, it occurred to me that I wasn’t just simplifying, I was un-nesting. Baby gadgets that we’ve outgrown and no longer need to save for another hopeful little life dominated a large pile of give-away items. The jog stroller given to me by my sisters, a baby buggy, baby swing, even many of the baby manuals that were like a Bible to me as a new mom are now looking for another home.

For the record, I am too sentimental than is reasonably healthy for one human being. So, transitions like this definitely give me reason to pause.

As I drove through town this weekend, I saw evidence of others facing a far bigger transition: moms and dads living in homes draped with “Congratulations Graduate” banners. They welcome guests with a brave smile, but I suspect many wear a heavy heart inside.

And rightly so … Think back to the nesting parallel. Expecting parents work so hard to build a comfortable and loving “nest” for their new babies. Family and friends fill it with gear. When babies arrive, we wrap our wings around them and provide for their every need. We feed, carry, clothe, nurture, discipline and console. We teach them how to eat, walk, talk, run, bike, read, pray, write, and countless other essential, unique or just-plain-handy skills.

While the moments as a parent sometimes seem like eternity, the years pass us by in a flash. All too quickly, our babies are ready to fly on their own. They take off to build their own nest, leaving ours all too empty.

As I struggle now to part with baby gear and say good-bye to my era of childbearing, I realize it’s just another small step on the amazing, challenging, emotional journey as a parent.

We might be able to cheat at organizing, but there’s no cheating on this job.

I’m thankful for now that I’m not my neighbor down the hill who has a “Congratulations Graduate” sign on their front door. I’m tempted to walk down and add another, more appropriate sign, beside it. Mine would read, “Congratulations Parents”. Enjoy your new era as free birds!

1 comment:

OilMan said...

Julie, you are not weird. Everything about you is completely normal.