Tuesday, July 27, 2010

What habits are defining you?

My mom and I took a week long road trip recently – just the two of us. Preparing for the trip, we set 4 p.m. as our targeted departure time. Three hours later, we finally hit the road.

While traveling we listened to an audio presentation by author and speaker Matthew Kelly. The subject was “Becoming the Best Version of Yourself.” The difference between average people and people who achieve greatness comes down to one thing, he says. It isn’t courage or brains or beauty. Not wealth or wisdom.

The difference is habits. Accomplished people are guided by great habits. I reflected sheepishly on our three-hour delay and my habit of tardiness.

We can learn a lot about leaders by their habits. Theodore Roosevelt was a voracious reader. Benjamin Franklin worked relentlessly. Mother Teresa’s habit was charity – she was singularly committed to it.

Closer to home, Ed Schafer’s endless energy stemmed from his dogged commitment to mid-day runs. John Hoeven is known for disciplined decision making.

We all have habits, good and bad. A big part of parenting involves nurturing good habits in our kids, habits perhaps we wish were our own. Flossing daily, eating vegetables, reading, telling the truth, sharing.

Experts say it takes 30 days to create a good habit. Six years later, we’re hoping our children soon learn the habit of saying please. Despite the seemingly endless reinforcement required, we press on with our kids, knowing that developing good habits now will be far easier than breaking bad ones later.

On a recent field trip with girlfriends, I asked about their best and worst habits. Several cited yelling or nagging. Others confessed to being chronically late. I’m habitually trying to overcome both of these bad habits, which stem from a more basic problem: over-estimating how much I can do.

Whether writing a column or packing for a trip, I frequently underestimate how long it will take This leaves me scrambling at the end, barking at my kids and trying to pull off my best work with far less time than necessary.

In the spectrum of bad habits, this one isn’t the worst. It does, however, create a lot of needless stress. The perpetual rush foils our efforts to face the world calmly and in good cheer, from noticing something cool or someone in need.

This is the problem with bad habits: they often come in multiples. Staying up too late makes people oversleep, impatient, tardy, under productive, too tired to exercise and more likely to overeat.

Some people claim to be creatures of habit, but in many ways we all are. We might have big goals and lofty ideals but ultimately our simple, daily habits -- constructive or destructive – determine what we accomplish. They draw us closer or further from the person we want to be.

Whatever good I’m able to achieve one thing is probably for certain. I’ll be late.

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