Rationing Christmas Cheer

Rationing was a part of every day life growing up in a family with eight children. Clothes, food, free-time, hot water for showers -- most commodities were tightly controlled. With a lot of people living under one average-size roof, anyone who exceeded the firmly established limit was sure to be caught.

Socks were the source of some very unholy wars in our house. My brother Dave put his initials on the toes of all his socks so he could immediately identify any thief who dared take one. Ice cream and sweet cereal were also closely guarded. To this day, I will serve myself two scoops of ice cream and return to the freezer for a refill rather than exceed the two-scoop ice cream limit that was drilled into me as a child.

Rationing was a necessity for my parents, and Christmas gifts were no exception. None of our relatives could afford to buy presents for all of us so we typically received three gifts: one from our parents, one from our “sibling swap” and one from Santa -- plus a couple treats in our stocking.

I remember feeling extremely jealous of a friend who once received her own TV for Christmas, but other than that I was usually quite satisfied with my bounty. My brother and I salivated over toys in the LaBelle’s catalogue, and I’ll never forget one year actually receiving the Easy Bake Oven I marked on those pages. The anticipation was far better than the toy.

Just last year I threw away a digital clock radio I received for Christmas in 5^th grade. It was cutting-edge electronics in its time. (Sadly, the new one I received to replace it lasted less than one year.)

I expect many others in my generation have similar childhood experiences. Our parents had less “stuff” available for purchase and less money available for purchasing. Besides, showering kids with “stuff” wasn’t fashionable or as common as it is today.

Still, compared to the meager gifts they received as kids, my parents spoiled us rotten. My mom has vivid memories of the few Christmases in which she received “a” gift under the tree. Their Christmas stockings were stuffed with a couple pieces of fruit.

Looking back, I’m extremely grateful I had to share, wait, hope and be satisfied with less “stuff” than I wanted as a child, and I want my kids to experience these “hardships” as well. And, since they probably aren’t going to learn them by being one of eight children, here are a few simple ideas I’ve gathered or concocted for controlling this holiday’s reckless consumerism:

• Censor the ads – ignore the inserts, magazines and email promotions. This saves time and prevents me from being lured away from my goal by good deals.
• Ration – establish firm gift limits, even for relatives, and stick with it.
• Agree with your kids to give excess gifts to children who live with real hardships.
• Pay with cash rather than credit.
• Give at least one gift with religious significance.
• Give gifts of time to a local charity.

I love the symbolism of the gift-giving tradition at Christmas. Rather than being a lesson in greed and an unsettling display of excess, I want it to be a source of joy and an expression of love and thanksgiving in our family.

With a little old-fashioned rationing, I think it can be.

Girls Gone Mild

My daughter jumped in the car one day last fall and declared with a troubled voice, “Mom, all the kids in my class say Pooh is for babies.”

My heart sank. We’ve been warned that kids grow up fast, but I honestly thought we had a few more years of Tigger and Pooh. After all, she was only four. Fortunately, my husband lobbied a persuasive defense for Pooh and the little bear still remains in our daughter’s good graces. His days are numbered though – he’ll be left behind by High School Musical any day.

It’s not easy preserving the innocence of childhood these days, especially for little girls. Bratz dolls dressed like pint-sized prostitutes line the aisles of toy stores. Abercrombie & Fitch sells thong underwear for 7-12 year olds. Even Disney has joined in with modern, scantily-clad princesses like Ariel and Jasmine.

There are few places to hide from sexualized images of women and girls – images that promote women not for any positive character quality but only as attractive objects for sexual satisfaction.

Television, the grocery store, even some of our own North Dakota businesses are getting in on the action. A Fargo radio station this summer bought a billboard featuring a woman’s torso in a bikini with the words “Turn us on.” A local dance studio teaches preschool girls to shimmy and “shake their booties.”

One recent Sunday while reading the newspaper in his Pooh character PJs, my husband pointed out the Halloween costumes. Each of the costumes -- expressly marketed to teenage girls -- was a different play on a common theme. A sexy pirate, naughty nurse, French maid, little devil. All of the teenage models boasted unnaturally skinny figures, sizable busts, bare legs and a flirty pose – perfect for a Halloween party with pubescent boys.

Sexualized images of women are so common many of us stopped being surprised by them long ago. I’ve been snapped out of my silent submission more than once with questions like, “Why are princesses so skinny Mom?” or “Why does that girl have a tattoo way down there on her back?”

The impact these images have on adults is one thing. But what are young children who are developing their attitudes about themselves and each other suppose to think when bombarded by these powerful messages? What are teenagers, raging with hormones, to do when faced with sexual images everywhere?

The answer to these questions is fairly obvious. Young people are becoming sexually active much earlier. And although teenage pregnancies are down, STDs in people ages 15-24 are rampant, even in North Dakota. Adolescent girls struggle with eating disorders and some even resort to plastic surgery to measure up to the images of perfect, sexy women surrounding them every day.

It’s easy to feel defenseless among all of these powerful forces, but we do have a number of good weapons to defend our kids. The American Psychology Association recommends:

• Turn off the TV or watch programs with your kids so you can identify with them the stereotypes.
• Boycott toys, books, videos and magazines that promote sexualized images of girls, including many popular teen magazines.
• Encourage involvement in activities that promote the building of inner character not outer beauty.

If ever there were a cause for a modern feminist movement, this is it. The sexual revolution of the ‘60s liberated women sexually. Now we need a new revolution to fight the superficial sexuality that threatens to define us.

Let’s wear the bras but burn the Bratz dolls.