Wrinkles of Life Add Meaning

My birthday party was over, so I released the remaining balloon off the deck of the beautiful Oahe Ranch overlooking the Missouri River. As I watched it float away the writing on the balloon struck me for the first time.

40! That balloon said 40.

I’ve thoroughly enjoyed harassing all of my siblings and many friends on their 40^th birthdays. Grim Reapers, wheel chairs, Rogaine, Viagra -- I delighted in every “Over the Hill” cliché I could find.

So, as my 40^th birthday approached, I expected to feel some dread or sadness. Oddly enough, I’m amazed to realize I’m completely fine with it.

Don’t get me wrong -- the drawbacks of aging are undeniable. My back and neck ache from the slightest change of pillow or chair. I have to die my hair back to its natural color at much more frequent intervals. And I find myself buying goops and potions that promise to keep me young.

But these physical challenges and the passing of my youth aren’t at the top of my mind. What I’m noticing are the benefits of growing older.

I have much greater clarity about my strengths and weaknesses and what value I might add to this world. I still don’t have a sheet of goals or a “bucket list” for middle age, but I think I understand where and how I might make a difference.

This clarity comes in handy for prioritizing tasks and making choices. I can embrace new projects that fit my values and say “no” with much less guilt.

Similarly, gone are the grandiose expectations of youth that I must be good at everything I touch. At 40, I’m much better at celebrating the good and the gifts in others than I was at age 30 or even 35. Rather than doing everything myself, I can recognize when to hire or delegate someone better to do it.

I might suffer from more back aches today, but my backbone is much stronger. I’m not afraid to stand up for things that matter to me, even when it isn’t fashionable or popular or the same as other people whose opinion counts.

That’s nice too – realizing whose opinion counts and being able to ignore those who don’t.

But one of the most amazing gifts of age is the depth it gives to relationships. My husband and I invited some friends to join us last weekend for a birthday party. These people drove from far and wide and arranged care for dozens of children to attend -- a touching expression of friendship.

As I looked around the room, I saw people who stood by me at high school graduation, at college parties, or on the alter at our wedding. We have celebrated new life, sobbed at death, and laughed ourselves to tears on many occasions.

We aren’t as pretty as we once were. Like the Velveteen Rabbit, our hair has worn off in places and our bodies are getting lumpy. But these people and other dear friends and family are real, and the history I have with them is precious.

Relationships are the most fulfilling part of life, and the passing of time adds amazing color to relationships we share. This is perhaps the greatest gift of growing older.

Our culture is obsessed with physical beauty and staying young, but like so many cultural promises, this too is an empty one.

The clarity, experience and meaningful relationships that come with age are far more valuable. Worth every wrinkle.

Palin May Prove a Good Pick

Conventional wisdom received a hearty hip-check last week from a young governor and hockey mom of five who comes not from a swing state, but one that is rural and remote.

Governors, with their executive experience and budget background, have long-been desirable candidates for VP. Let’s consider a few of the additional qualities this young mother will bring to the job.

Work Ethic: Five children, including an infant. Demanding executive job. Political career. This woman has a master’s degree in multi tasking and must not need sleep. She already works around the clock, so Washington’s time demands will be nothing new.

Negotiating skills: Law school breeds good arguers and debaters – people who know how to work the system because they designed it. People who don’t like to lose.

On the other hand, compromising and negotiating are survival skill for moms. Convincing a young child to be quiet in church or a teenager to be respectful – this is an art. So is knowing when not to negotiate. Never negotiate with a terrorist, especially one disguised as a two-year-old throwing a tantrum.

Patience and Persistence: Bad behavior, at home or in government, isn’t going to change overnight. Small, consistent steps forward can produce dramatic long-term results. Eliminating earmarks might not be possible in one year, but they can be gradually phased out. Good things take time.

Moderation: Too much TV, Intranet, video games and junk food can corrupt the mind. The same is true in Washington. Too many parties, perks, special interests, money and prestige can corrupt the leader. We need leaders who are willing to take on the power establishment in Washington like Palin did with Big Oil in Alaska.

I was among the throngs of people who initially dismissed Sarah Palin as too inexperienced. Now I’m among those who are cheering her entrance into this race.

Washington has armies of people who hold the law degrees, the MBAs, the decades of business and political experience that supposedly provides the proper background for a leadership. Yet our government today is a mess.

Maybe it’s time to consider a candidate like Palin who has a different set of credentials. Someone who is serving in one of our nation’s highest executive offices with the overwhelming approval of the people who elected her, and still embraces her experiences as a mother, a PTO member and mayor of a small town.

The unapologetic way in which Sarah Palin combines active motherhood and a successful political career is an entirely new model for women, made possible through a strong partnership with her husband Todd. Feminists are deriding her pro-life example – this is not who they want shattering the glass ceiling. Yet Palin offers a compelling new vision for embracing family and work.

Many Americans applauded her persona and speech at the Republican convention because she gave voice to a basic conservative philosophy that has been lost in recent years. Lost in the spending, scandals and gridlock of Washington. Lost in the marketing of Karl Rove’s “compassionate conservatism” that turned out to be big government with a feel-good name.

People are excited about Sarah Palin because she represents the kind of feisty, sensible, relatable candidate we want but were beginning to believe could not exist in today’s political culture.

She’ll need every bit of pitbull (and plenty of lipstick) to survive.