Seeking Less in 2008

January is named after the Roman god Janus, the god of new beginnings. He had two faces, one on the front of his head and one on the back. This handy feature allowed him to look backward and forward at the same time.

Today we all are like Janus – looking back on the successes and disappointments of 2007, but more importantly, looking forward to 2008. I love new beginnings, and always look forward to New Year’s resolutions that might make this the year I finally pull it all together and become my best possible self.

When I was in my 20s, I struggled to narrow down my list of New Year’s resolutions into 10 things that would make me smarter, worldlier or more employable. My lifestyle has changed a bit since then. Last year, I had one resolution: to make Sundays a day of rest. This was a great goal, but proved to be much harder than I expected. And not very restful. I only managed to accomplish this two out of 52 Sundays.

This year I’m taking a different approach to resolutions. My number one personal frustration is watching days melt away into years while some of my biggest dreams bob around aimlessly in my head like a float in the Macy’s parade. (Maybe I should resolve to read one of those self-improvement books collecting dust on my book shelves.)

My resolution this year is inspired by Ed Schafer. When he was governor he always required state agencies to search for savings by submitting budgets that were less than 100 percent of their existing budget. In doing so, he told agency directors, “I’m not asking you to do more with less. I’m really asking you to consider doing less.”

In our time-crunched, high-stress society, looking for ways to “do less” strikes me as a worthy exercise for just about anyone.

Doing less is the central ingredient of the two most common New Year’s resolutions: losing weight (eating less) and saving money (spending less). These two resolutions actually work well together. Amy Dacyczyn, author of “The Tightwad Gazette” (a book full of practical and somewhat crazy money-saving tips), ranks “thinness” as one of her five best bargains. I love her simple sensibility.

“Doing less” could well apply to some destructive behaviors like yelling at my kids, gossiping or complaining. This idea resonates with me right now because I’ve been reading about the overwhelming power of the human tongue to hurt and destroy.

Losing weight, saving money and being a nicer person are all excellent ambitions, but they are not ultimately what I’m after with my “doing less” resolution. I’m looking to clear out the clutter. Simplify. Do less of the crappy little things that consume so much time. Less errands, returns, activities, junk mail and junk email. Less shuffling of toys or listening to unnecessary noise. Rather than making my list longer and blood pressure higher, I’m searching for things to cut out, do without or simplify in order to live life more fully.

Ultimately, I know I won’t really do less. I’m not looking for time to sit on the couch and watch TV. My hope is to make a little room in my marching band of daily life so I reel in and play with one of those big dreams that are floating along in my parade.

Finding and Spreading Joy

I have a friend who is obsessed with joy. The word is even painted on her kitchen wall.

This busy mother of four young boys doesn’t have time to be obsessed with much, so when she first told me about this new pursuit, my brain immediately thought, “Oh, she’s seeking happiness.” And, as if reading my simple mind, she quickly continued, “Not joy as in being happy all the time, but in a deeper, more spiritual sense.”

Unfortunately, our conversation was interrupted by an urgent demand for Legos, but I’ve been thinking about the meaning of joy ever since. What is joy and where does it come from?

Some merchants suggest joy comes in the shape of a diamond or the form of a new car. I can’t relate to the car thing, but I have to admit I did feel pretty joyful when I received my engagement ring, but fortunately, that had little to do with the ring.

The word “joy” has a lot of different forms – joyful, joyous, enjoy. The term is used in a variety of creative ways. “Joy” dish soap. (What an insult!) Joy rides – an oxymoron for me. Or the “Joy of Cooking.” Somehow, I don’t think this applies to “boxed” mac and cheese.

All of these “joys” suggest pleasure, but joy is more than that. Joy is the return of good health after battling a major illness or health scare. Joy is the homecoming of a mom or dad, son or daughter after combat duty. Joy is the birth of a baby, your own or the one in the manger, a bundle of joy.

Sometimes joy can even shine in unexpected places. The comfort and support of friends during a crisis or tragedy can often create joy amid great stress or sorrow.

I recently learned the sign language expression for joy. Words can’t do justice to this sign, but I’ll do my best to describe it. The sign involves holding your hands about six inches away from your stomach and rotating them in a circle one over the other as if to suggest something positive is emanating out from inside of you.

So, all these ponderings bring me to Christmas ... If a season can be summarized by one word, Christmas is joy. Many of us carve out hours of time in December to spread joy and good cheer to people we love and appreciate – family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, customers, newspaper carriers, even perfect strangers. We give like crazy, listen to meaningful music and take time to socialize and enjoy others.

December is a marathon month of joy seeking and giving. We exhaust ourselves spreading this joy, and then, January rolls around and we pack it away with all the wreaths, ribbons and other wrappings of Christmas.

We can’t purchase joy, but we can seek it and spread it in attitude and spirit. What I really appreciate about my friend is that she is intent on nurturing joy not just at Christmas but always, every day, even at 5 p.m. when the collective energy of her four little boys seems ready to blow the top off her house. The word quietly resonates from her kitchen wall. Joy.

May you seek and find abundant joy this Christmas and throughout the New Year.