Wisdom in Being Bored

Last weekend we piled our kids and mounds of stuff into our van and drove to the Rocky Mountains. Whenever mentioning a road trip like this, the first question people ask, even before inquiring about your travel plans, is “Do you have a DVD player in your car?”

Car DVD players are to road trips what a nap is to a new mother. Heaven. They break up long trips, help pass time more quickly, soothe restless kids and give parents time to talk and reconnect. My parents really could have used one back in the ‘60s when they packed 7 kids in a station wagon and traveled from Williston to California for a month in a popup camper. (What were they thinking?)

Car DVDs are among a long line of tools and trends that help us pacify, occupy and entertain our kids from the second they take their first breath. Newborn babies lie in vibrating seats, go to sleep to ocean noises and watch cleverly named videos we think will make them smart. TV, video games, organized sports, activities and all-day kindergarten are creating much more structure and stimulation for kids at increasingly young ages.

Between the shuffle of these schedules and the irresistible appeal of electronic media, children can go for days without any real downtime. A number of psychologists, educators and parents believe this hyper-stimulating environment is causing kids to be more restless and agitated, to have lower attention spans, to be dependent on instant gratification and less able to solve problems or complete projects on their own. These experts are actually exploring the benefits of boredom.

A private elementary school on the East Coast has incorporated a radical solution into their curriculum. The entire school, kindergarteners and all, starts the morning with 30 minutes of silence. The principle argues that kids need uninterrupted time to think in order to learn how to solve problems.

Our recent trek to western Montana was a case study on this theory of boredom and problem solving. We don’t have a DVD player for our car. If we thought our kids could handle one in moderation, we might relent. But moderation is not in their vocabulary. We would be dogged with requests for “Sponge Bob” before we reached the end of the driveway.

So, on our latest journey, they faced one big problem: What to do for 10 hours while confined to a car seat. They did a fair amount of typical car activities – coloring, listening to music and stories, snacking, tormenting each other and asking if we were almost there. But they also concocted some intricate games involving dinosaurs, Darth Vader, Luke Skywalker, multiple imaginary dams and a bookstore.

We counted freight trains, sang Yankee Doodle Dandy (no fewer than 39 times), and saw five bald eagles. And we talked. A few movies could have been in the mix of activities, but no one suffered much without it. I enjoyed seeing them immersed in a make-believe world of their own design rather than being pacified by the product of someone else’s imagination.

Ultimately, those hours on the road were a nice break for our family from all the noise, gadgets and distractions of the everyday world.

I’m not sure how long we’ll maintain our DVD-free travel policy, but I do know this. If a little downtime is good for my kids, “boredom” is one craft project even I can handle. Next time my kids say, “Mom, I’m bored.” I can say cheerfully, “Excellent! That’s good for your brain.”

Shopping for Good Leaders

My husband and I recently bought new furniture for our home office. This project involved several research missions to examine the selection at every furniture store in town as well as online and in catalogues. We compared prices and quality and debated the best configurations for our needs. All told, we probably spent 8-10 hours making this purchase.

We follow a similar process for all major buys and I suspect most Americans are the same. We want to get the best quality for the best price, and we are willing to invest some time doing so.

This year, we will be making a “major purchase” for our nation -- electing a new president and countless other leaders on the national, state and local level. These people will wield incredible power to affect nearly every aspect of our daily lives – our safety and security, personal freedoms, healthcare and how much money remains in our paychecks. The impact these leaders will have on our kids through the policies they pass stands to be even greater.

Knowing this, how much time will you spend researching this “purchase” and doing your part to obtain the best quality leaders? Studies suggest the answer for most Americans is very little. In the last presidential election, nearly 45 percent of eligible Americans didn’t even take time to vote much less examine candidates’ credentials, experience or positions on key issues.

In a recent conversation, a new friend was taken aback when I said I love politics. “You do?” she exclaimed as if I had just confessed to enjoying the smell of bad breathe. She is completely disinterested in politics because, as she put it, she can never really figure out who is telling the truth and she doesn’t think her voice matters. “I just feel like they are going to do whatever they want anyway so what difference can I make?”

This woman is a smart, friendly, optimistic person who is a mother, wife and hard-working member of our business community. And unfortunately, she reflects the feelings of millions of Americans regarding politics. Who can I believe? What difference can I make? Why should I care?

I’d like to offer three thoughts. First, for those who struggle to determine who to believe, skip the traditional news sources and political ads and go direct. The internet has resources for researching candidates, analyzing their skills and experience, and determining who best mirrors your beliefs. Check out www.vote-smart.org, www.2decide.com or just Google “2008 presidential election.”

Second, recent down-to-the-wire elections and recounts should be evidence enough that every vote matters. In 2006, one North Dakota legislative race was determined by only four votes.

But participating in the political process comes down to more than a vote. It’s a modest investment in the freedom and opportunities we enjoy as Americans and a recognition that millions of people have died to preserve these. It’s a vital act of preserving for future generations the same privileges we enjoy to think and work, worship and play freely, everyday, with barely a second thought.

And finally, why should you care? Every election is important – this one seems particularly so. Our elected leaders will be forging new ground on issues such as national security, tax and economic policy, healthcare, immigration and many others. Their decisions will establish a direction for our nation and world for generations. I want our country to step strongly in the way of promoting personal responsibility and keeping terror-minded extremists on the defensive.

Some people protest that it’s way too early to worry about an election that is nearly 10 months away. That might be true for state and local races, but we have an excellent opportunity this month to get involved in the presidential selection process. With North Dakota participating in Super Tuesday events on Feb. 5, we all have a chance to advocate for a favorite candidate among a broad slate of choices.

Now is the time to begin shopping around for our nation’s next leader. I urge you to invest some time in the process, get familiar with the products available, compare the quality, question the claims. You and your family will feel the affects of this purchase every day for many years. Good or bad, all sales are essentially final.