Keeping Our Kids Afloat in Dangerous Seas

Who knew McDonald’s play land would be the site of my child’s first informal education on some intriguing adult subjects. One minute she and her friends were slipping on the slides, the next minute she was getting an earful of confusing information about her favorite childhood idols.

Her “teacher” was another little girl, smart and kindhearted, who had been educated by her friend, who had been schooled by her teenage sister who found the gossip on the internet. So it goes. News travels fast among the young and curious who have access to virtually endless information online.

While I regret that my child heard some of this, the experience offered a timely reminder about the world in which children are growing.

Humans have been educating and corrupting each other since the beginning of time. I learned an awful lot from my friends as a kid, good and bad.

The big difference is back then our steamiest source of information was Judy Bloom books that we snuck in the library to read juicy details about puberty. My childhood idols were Mary Ingalls, Marcia Brady and Charlie’s Angels.

Today’s children swim in a sea of popular culture dominated by sex, violence, pornography, gossip and materialism -- all of it available in graphic video just a click away on a handheld device.

Sadly, our children’s youth and innocence are drowning in this sea, and often the death is occurring on our watch in our very own homes.

Our community has had extensive conversations and initiatives aimed at improving how we feed our kids. But I wonder, are we worried enough as parents about how we feed the minds of our children through the movies, video games, music and online information they consume every day?

I was talking recently with a mom, Laurie, who is in the throws of raising teenagers on the East Coast. She piqued my interest in the hottest teen show called, “Gossip Girls.” It’s “Desperate Housewives” for teens.

Last week’s storyline followed characters at their elite New York City high school as they talked about “makeup sex,” attended cocktail parties and plotted to ruin each other by posting sex tapes on the internet.

Laurie and her husband watched an episode with their kids and decided they could find better entertainment. The teens moaned and complained, “ALL our friends get to watch it.”

So, Laurie called the other parents and asked if they’d seen the show. None of them had. “Sit down next week and watch it with them,” she urged.

I like this approach. First, the parents are aware of potential problems because they monitor their kids’ entertainment. Second, they set boundaries and standards, explaining inappropriate material and offering alternatives. Third, they talk to other parents – not condemning but suggesting they might want to make an informed decision.

The first line of defense is parents, but others can provide valuable support. Bismarck’s Charity Lutheran Church is tackling this issue with discussions about purity. The program is aimed at teaching “tweens” that what they choose to put into their minds -- via music, movies, books, Internet sites and video games -- affects the way they think and act.

It’s a great program that provides a framework for parents to reinforce at home.

I can get easily overwhelmed by the challenges of raising children today. The world is a constantly changing sea of tantalizing high-tech hazards and I feel ill-equipped at times to compete.

But I’m reminded and encouraged that the tools we have as parents, if we use them together, can be extremely effective. Be aware, set boundaries, communicate openly with kids starting when they are tiny, and form alliances with other parents and adults.

These are our life vests and we must use them diligently to keep our kids afloat.