How welcoming are we?

My husband called me on Saturday morning while he was away on business. “Hey, what are you doing?” I asked.

“Having coffee in Times Square,” he responded glibly.

I stood in my faded flannel p.j.s, surrounded by dirty dishes and noisy kids, and looked out my window into a gray sky and barren white field of snow. I imagined spending the day eating and people watching my way through Manhattan, soaking in the sights, sounds, tastes, people and experiences in New York City that are like no other place on earth.

As I stood at my window, I pondered the contrast between the winter landscape in my view and the stimulating scene my husband was living that moment in New York. And I wondered, how realistic is it to think, that someone who grew up in a big city like that can learn to love life in small town North Dakota?

We learned last week about a couple, Michael and Jeanette Tristani, who tried. The allure of free land drew them from Miami to Hazelton, N.D., four years ago. But they are pulling the plug on the experiment and going back to Florida.

The story focused heavily on dramatic claims of being run out of town by unwelcoming locals, but the couple has said repeatedly the biggest reason they are returning to Florida is to care for aging parents. The fact they didn’t feel they fit in at Hazelton probably sealed their decision.

The story was picked up by media outlets nationwide. It’s the kind of tale people on the coasts love to read to support their stereotype about Midwesterners – that we blindly cling to our guns and our religion, unwilling to accept new ideas, new people or change of any kind.

Hazelton has actually worked harder than most small North Dakota towns to change its destiny. Ironically, their aggressive attempt to alter their course might ultimately make them the poster child for the stubborn, dying small town -- something comedians and politicians reference in one-liners about close mindedness.

This is the kind of story that sticks in the brains of people who don’t remember anything else about North Dakota. That’s really unfortunate. But perhaps the story might trigger some worthwhile discussions in our communities.

Whether or not Hazelton was at fault (and facts reported since the original story suggest they weren’t) this story speaks to one of North Dakota’s biggest challenges. How do we attract and retain people to sustain our communities and grow our economy while maintaining the qualities we love about this state?

Many of our rural communities are losing the struggle to create a new identity beyond traditional agriculture which can no longer fully sustain them. Yet our low unemployment and growth opportunities in many industries provide an opportunity now to recruit people to our state.

We might be well served to reflect on how welcoming we are. How open are we to people who look different and have a very different world view? What are we doing to help them find a place in our communities?

North Dakota won’t be a match for everyone. The contrast for folks from Miami or New York might be too extreme. But people who desire to live in our state and integrate into our communities should receive a warm welcome from us and find in North Dakota a safe, comfortable and friendly new home.