My dad was born in 1929, the oldest boy of six children growing up on a small farm near Ryder, N.D. He spent his childhood working on those dry, windy prairies trying to help his family squeeze a living off land ravaged by the Great Depression.
Rocks were often the most plentiful crop, and the necessities for daily living were scarce. One of my dad’s earliest memories is of his mother saving the banana for Jell-O so everyone would get a taste of the exotic fruit.
This was the environment that shaped my dad’s (and mom’s) worldview. No wonder he scrapes mold off food, refuses to buy garbage bags when grocery sacks are plentiful and uses the insides of envelopes for notepaper.
With Father’s Day around the corner, I find myself reflecting on some of my dad’s wisdom for living. Perhaps these will sound familiar or trigger other memories of your own dad.
1. Get an education. When my dad completed high school, he wanted to stay and farm. But his dad wouldn’t let him. “Duane, you can always farm. Get your education first. No one can ever take that away from you.” Prudent advice from a man with limited formal schooling. Those words have echoed through eight kids, 31 grandkids and I suspect will keep ringing for generations to come.
2. Go figure. When my brother Dave was a kid my dad tasked him with fixing a broken appliance. “But dad, I don’t know how,” he protested. “Well, figure it out. That’s what I’d have to do,” dad said. So Dave did, and proceeded to learn how to fix or build just about anything. With hard work and an understanding of “basic physics,” few problems or challenges have been too big or risky for my dad to tackle.
3. Politics matters. I can still see remember watching Richard Nixon’s resignation speech on TV when I was about five. My dad realized as a young businessman that decisions in the political world had very real implications for him and his family. Being informed and involved isn’t an option it’s our duty.
4. Be a good steward. Everyone is born with gifts. It’s our responsibility to tend and multiply them. This means getting up, going to work and taking care of yourself, your kids and your community. It means living within your means, making do with what you have (even if it’s moldy food) or doing without. It’s not a complicated philosophy but somehow we have wandered far from it.
5. Play to win. A few years ago I remember scolding my son when he was whining after he lost a game. My dad watched the scene unfold and commented to me later. “Show me a good loser, and I’ll show you a loser.” Winning isn’t everything, but whether in business, sports or relationships, be there to do your best and win.
6. Seek change. People often grow complacent with age. It’s easier to stick to the comforts of the known rather than to see opportunity in something new. My dad has instinctively chosen the latter. His resume includes everything from hat sales and dance schools to cattle and commercial real estate. At 80, he routinely trades stocks online, wears a cell phone on his hip, and is still trying to decide whether Quickbooks or Quicken is the right business software for him.
As a child, my dad’s old-fashioned lessons were rather aggravating. Now, I find myself trying to instill remnants of these values in my own kids, who are growing up in a culture where cleaning up dog poop is considered a big job and bananas with too many spots are dismissed as “rotten.”
Anyone have a field of rocks that need to be picked?
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